Wow! It has been over a month since I posted anything. Sorry about that. But what has been going on is just TOO MUCH STUFF! I have just been feeling overwhelmed by everything. I am very lucky because I have been having a lot of referrals to doctors to help me with various problems that had been so minor, but are now getting attention, like the neck spasms and the lower back pain. Oh, I have been "living" with it, but now that I am dealing with it, it has just taken over my life. I feel like I have a new full time job (to add to my regular full time job and a full time job of parenting).

However, I am finally realizing something. Actually, two things. One is to simplify. The other is to just move. Simplify because lists and lists of tasks can really bog you down. So I have simplified everything I am doing down to one simple question: Will this help me be healthy? That applies to the decision to lay down on the couch and watch television, grabbing a handful of something to eat or overdoing it by going on a ridiculously long bike ride. I know that activity in moderation is something I need to do. I know that I need to do my stretching exercises. I know that I need to eat healthy, which means planning a menu, shopping, cooking (because prepared foods are really not good for me) and....OOPS! Did it again. Making a list and making me crazy. So now I just try to think - will this be healthy. If I am laying down on the couch because I am so tired, wouldn't I really benefit more from a power nap. If I am snacking, wouldn't fruit be a healthier choice. If we are going on a long bike ride, wouldn't breaking it up into many errands make more sense. This all seems to be helping.

BUT THEN I ALSO FEEL SO TIRED ALL OF THE TIME! When I wake up in the morning, I am tired, but on the mornings when I drag myself out of bed, walk the dogs and get moving, I am still tired later in the morning, but then I do a power nap and I actually have a pretty good day. Make sense. But the point is to just move. Even when I feel like I should go for a short walk, I wonder if I even have the energy to walk to the front door. But since I am telling myself to keep moving, I go to the back yard, water a few plants, then start to think about what is going on in the neighborhood and then, pretty soon, I am going for a short walk. I may stop along the way, but when I get home, I have more energy than if I just stayed on the couch the whole time.

So wish me luck as I try to keep deciding if this will make me healthy and as I keep moving. Gotta go now, I am feeling motivated....

It all starts with a good attitude and one manageable goal

Well, yet again a series of setback occurred over the past several weeks.  It started with a small traffic accident.  No injuries, thank goodness, but I ended up totalling my 1998 Ford Windstar (not worth that much so not really hard to do).  That forced us into doing something we have known for a while that we needed to do:  get a new car.  Went through that process - took up another week.  Weather has been up and down, so when it is nice we really go to town with bike riding.  Had severe neck pain, resulting in emergency room visit (because of the accompanying headache) and another visit for an MRI, along with many doctors visits.  Lost a lot of time that way.  Now, hopefully, that is all behind me.

You know, the most important thing to hold on to during stressful times like this is an upbeat attitude.  Even though all of these activities got in my way, I tried to embrace the time waiting around for things, like doctor's appointments and MRIs, and tried to really focus on what I need to do.  I have been feeling overwhelmed because the list of things I need to do seems never ending.  Ultimately, I realize that in order to maintain a positive attitude, I need to make the list more manageable.  So I have boiled it down to one goal:  lose weight.  And with that one goal, everything should fall into place.  Lose weight equals eat healthy (great for fibro), engage in activity (also great for fibro), get plenty of sleep because when I am tired I make bad choices (also great for fibro and Chronic Fatigue), and keep track (this will also improve my attitude because I will see progress).

And there you have it.  Yes, I have meds for fibro, exercises, a whole book of what I should do, but now I am going to try to just use this one goal to encompass all the other goals.  That way, I don't feel as overwhelmed.  I know I can do this.

Time to Take Some Time Off

Today is unofficially becoming a light day for me. Unfortunately, this has been forced upon me by a series of incidents that just got in the way of my enormous to do list. Fortunately, rather than fighting it, I decided to just give in. I had a day that was totally free of any required activities, after several days of very hectic activities. Yesterday I had to drive two and a half hours up north to handle a very contentious matter. Through a snow shower. It was a little stressful and very energy draining, but I actually survived it much better than I thought I would. When I got home, I had enough energy to throw the ball around with my son! And since I was feeling so good, I was able to come up with a wonderful long list of things to do. Now, after several days of really pushing myself, I was so surprised to have so much energy last night, so I really didn't anticipate how I would actually feel today. After getting through the morning routine, I started on the first task of my list, and instead of being a short phone call, it turned into an enormous errand that took all of the morning. In the middle of it, I started to get very frustrated, but then I realized this was probably a sign that it is really time to slow down. I went home and decided to just mill around the house, do a little light housekeeping and relax. It turned out to be so rejuvenating. Now I am realizing that there are things that need to get done today, but now I have the energy and the positive attitude to get it done. I guess the Pfizer card is right - if you are having a bad day, take it easy, but if you are having a good day, don't push too hard. I am learning that if I give myself regular breaks, I have more energy, more focus and I am able to accomplish more than if I just keep pushing myself. Hope I can remember this in the future.

Coming back - what a challenge

Well, I haven't posted anything lately because I have been out with a horrible cold, and therefore, my activity was reduced to virtually nothing. What a pain that is, since the fibro just loves a still body. So what to do? Well, I decided it was time to just play the games on the WiiFit. At least it was some activity. Happy to find out that I reached my 100th day on the WiiFit! It also helped me tremendously. Started to slowly walk again. I am coming back, but it continues to be a challenge. Not quite up to the levels I was at a few weeks ago.

It is amazing how a brief period of inactivity can be such a set back. It is also frustrating when you try to explain to your doctor that you really dread the inactivity because of the difficulty in coming back. Worse part for me is I have no energy to make healthy food, so I end up eating whatever is available, which is usually some kind of flour, fat and sugar combination. Well, I tried to keep that in mind this time and deliberately made sure I had plenty of fruit to snack on, especially grapes. The idea of raw vegetables was just too much for my stomach, but vegetable soup worked really well.

As a result of trying to at least keep the diet healthy, I feel like I might be able to come back from this a little bit better. Unfortunately, I know that the life of a fibromyalgic includes many unwanted suprises, so I am trying to have fewer plans (fewer Easter projects, for example) so that I can actually accomplish what I plan and don't feel bad. I think that this could be one of my better Easters. Being flat on my back this past weekend wasn't part of the plan, but with fewer plans, everything is still capable of being accomplished. Wish me luck!

Medical Testing Never Seems to End!

Yesterday I had to undergo a cardiac MRI. The results were fine, but it was a constant reminder that my medical issues are always around just waiting to pop up. Overall, I have been doing so well with my fibro. There was the day when I took my night time medicine in the morning and could barely function. It was quite amusing (is there any other choice?), and I got a lot of rest. Maybe it was my subconcious trying to slow me down.

Spent the last weekend running around, working hard and keeping very busy. Surprisingly, I continued to feel good. I feel like may stamina is really improving.

While at the hospital for the tests, met a nurse who thinks she might have fibro but is afraid to find out. I remember when I was trying to get diagnosed. I was sure that I must be a hypochondriac or there was something worse wrong with me. Putting a name to all of the pains was a great first step. Right away, my wonderful doctor (Dr. Chatterjee at the Cleveland Clinic) was able to get me on a program. It too a long time to get up to par and there were plenty of hiccups along the way, but now with my yoga, meditation, activity and keeping a good attitude going, (and great doctors - especially now Dr. Deborah Levin at OSU) I am doing very well.

So busy that I haven't had much time for blogging........ oh, well.

Oops! I did it again!

Ever have one of those days when nothing can go right, you are totally crabby and you are just so tired and in so much pain? That happened to me the other day, and seems to happen every so often. It also seems to occur regularly on weekends.

Well, I finally figured out the theme! I forgot my medication. Yes, it is true that I am ruthlessly organized, with every pill carefully packaged away under it's proper day in the medicine dispenser. I routinely count out the pills on Saturday morning, when I can take my time and not feel rushed. It is great to wake up, take a walk with my husband and our two dogs (breed? part German Shepherd/part insane), maybe even have a leisurely breakfast across the street at the coffee shop and just relax. But that is also completely contrary to my routine the rest of the week and sometimes leads to failure to take my meds. By mid-afternoon I am grumpy and sleepy and lacking energy. My husband is looking at me cross-eyed and my son has locked himself in his room. When I go to bed at night, I am so frustrated that a perfectly wonderful Saturday was wasted on my fibro problems. And then as I go to take my evening meds, I realize that I forgot to count out my pills for the week and then (ta da!) I realize that I did not take my meds that morning.

Standing orders at our house now are that when I get grumpy, my family members are supposed to ask me if I took my meds. My end of the bargain is to try to not snap at everyone who asks. It seems to be working. (Mostly I remember now to avoid having to answer to them - it's that fierce independence from my father's side of the family that makes me that way. Okay, I call it independence, they call it something else....but you know what I mean.)

Then there's the time I took my bedtime medicine in the morning - I'll save the story of the lost Friday for another time.

Spring is trying to spring forth

Well, you can tell that the weather has been pretty good around here, since I am spending less and less of my free time at the computer. With the warm up here, we have been riding our bikes quite a bit. That is a great exercise for me, since you can coast once in a while. We rode throughout German Village this past weekend. We rode to the grocery store, the park and then to dinner Saturday night. We didn't have the time change yet, so coming home was a little dark. It won't be anymore, though. My son and I are trying to invent a way to haul one bike with another so I can drop him off at school and take his bike with me. There is no place to park the bike at the school (yet).

I am also walking more. Overall, this "mild" exercise seems to be helping me. During the last round of warm weather a few weeks ago, I was really pushing myself, and then I paid for it with even more pain than normal. Now I actually feel like I have a little more energy, although I am not quite ready to give up my mid-morning nap!

I am also trying to de-clutter my life. It's like doing personal spring cleaning. I am trying to clearly identify what needs to get done, get things that have been sitting done, and get rid of the rest. It helps clear my mind, reduce stress, and I feel better. I am feeling somewhat optomistic about my overall health now. Of course, having said that, I just set myself up for something, I'm sure.

Well, back to de-cluttering......